Please Like Me......or else

2011-10-19T13:17:00.001-05:00

HOLY CRAP ! this blog is like a cockroach in Tupperware, it just won't go away !

I like this guy

2009-07-20T17:38:00.004-05:00

he has a bar and restaurant in Pennsylvania and has been doing these highly "pc" signs for years
you can browse them all at http://www.casadice.com

or wait for me to filter through the sucky ones and bring you the really good ones when I get time.

Quick poll

2009-07-17T10:30:00.003-05:00

#1. Area 51

#2. Jimmy Hoffa's Corpse

#3. Obama's Birth Certificate

which of these mysteries will be solved first?

the comment section is still closed and my favorite moron is still trying to get in (sorry punk) , so

e-mail your predictions to me at

BOFFOMAGNIFICO@hotmail.com

personally, I'm goin with Area 51 because "the truth is out there"

TWO YEARS !

2009-07-14T17:32:00.002-05:00

of absolute neglect and this magnificent blog is still here, amazing.

These blog things are more resilient than dandelions....or a really drunk guy on an electric fence..... which brings me to the cliff hanger from my last entry

Johnny survived his self inflicted ordeal with the Zapper, it seems that the massive alcohol content in his urine ignited on contact with the wires diffusing the voltage down to a non lethal trickle...the doctors called it "tinkle trickle", a medical term that Johnny drops frequently now when trying to convince people that he is a Phd.

Since I had "HIGH VOLTAGE" signs posted in five languages, English, French, Spanish, Squirrel and Pig Latin, the judge dismissed my case on the condition that I remove the Zapper and delete the "Human Weeny Flamethrower" video from YouTube.
He fined me 50 bucks for littering and an open burning ordinance infraction, though for dragging Johnny, still smoking to the curb (actually it was my neighbor Pierre's curb but why quibble, it's only 50 bucks).

This years crop is incredible, and critter free.
Unable to use electricity, I built a 12 foot moat complete with draw bridge and stocked it with a dozen 15 foot sea crocs that I rescued from an Obama-tized bankrupt (pardon the oxymoron) Missouri zoo.

Amazing creatures these crocs, huge, fast, voracious appetites and can hide underwater for hours on end waiting for an unsuspecting wildebeest, zebra or squirrel to test the waters or approach the shore to drink.

Anyway, the garden having no natural predators is thriving like never before, my new (patent pending) fertilizer made of Miracle Grow and croc poop has taken things to a new level. Tomatoes the size of watermelons! Cantaloupes the size of Yugos! String beans you can tow a truck with!

Johnny staggered by this morning, I told him that I had a case of Madd Dogg 20-20 tied to a rope, chilling in the new "pond" and WARNED HIM "don't even think about messing with it while I'm in the house for the next hour and half or more updating my blog! I mean it! "

I should go out and see if he left.

Johnny and his Tomato plant ......

2007-03-26T18:30:00.000-05:00

In my last report, I mentioned my pal Johnny's whacky idea of using squirrel, gnawed drool dripping tomatoes in chile.

I failed to mention how such a ne’er-do-well would even get a tomato, unless someone threw it at him for urinating on their lawn.

Now for the rest of the story (with my apologies to Paul Harvey)

One day last spring I was working in my garden, prepping the perfectly laser aligned holes, at their micrometer perfect widths and depths with the perfect mix of bone meal, calcium, dehydrated bat poop, rain water and Miracle Grow, and just a pinch of Diazanon (which I have smuggled in from Mexico) .....

.....when who should come stumbling up the drive, but Johnny.

"Zapppnin bro" he mumbles in his whiskey burnt garble.

"How much, Johnny?" I reply....

"awww man that's harsh.......three bucks....Madd Dogs on sale at Walgreens, today only" "I use it for unhhhh....cooking...yeh cooking"
"cooking for my poor sick mother, who got mugged by a gang of.....uh... Young Republicans, yeah they took everything man!....made her sick,……. gotta cook for her.....really Bert I ain't lyin' "

Experience has taught me that calling Johnny out on these obvious lies will only lead to an endless loop of denials, diversions and general purpose mumbo jumbo.....and it's only three bucks...........

"ok, Johnny but only if you promise me one thing"

"wazzat, Boze.....Bof " (cough, hack hack)... he spits out a piece of liver.(his)

"you will leave right now, never come back, and NOT urinate on my lawn on the way out"

" hey, that's TWO things......no wait ....that's THREE things, ....dam!"

at this point I picked up my 2x4.......

"ok, ok whatever you say, no problemo........hey is that blood......and fur on that board" "gotchu a possum, dincha Barf.....uh Bof.... attaboy "

"NO" I replied "that'......is.......un…. PAINT" "and the fur is from .......... shedding.......yeah, shedding, furry animals do that in yards you know."

at his point Johnny gives me a knowing bloodshot wink and chuckle
"bet he screamed alot , didn't he, hell them things can even scream under water......like squirrels"

.......I assume my best Babe Ruth stance with the 2x4......

"well, gotta dash...shareholders meeting....hey, I noticed that you have like 60 little baby tomato plants and only 12 holes wactha gonna do with them all ?

I quickly explained my theory of seedling loss and replacement.

"kin I have one" he asks "for what" I reply

" I can plant it at home in a coffee can fulla dirt and make my own tomatoes, I wus raised on a farm donchewknow"

By this time I'm thoroughly pissed , he's still here... BUT when an opportunity arises to display my massive knowledge of farmalogical stuff, (I have a Phd in it) I just can't resist.

" a single plant won't produce a thing, Johnny. It takes many plants of the same species and strain in close proximity to pollinate, dumass"

he replies "that's what you think, Mr. Phd, know-it-all, all you gotta do is wait till it blooms and the pollen transfers from one bloom to the other on the same plant....."

"Johnny you are telling a plant to "go fuck itself ! you idiot!"

"no, you do it with a toothbrush, flower to flower, like a bee, one of the guys at home (the shelter) has one (a toothbrush), I'll just borrow it......"

by now it's staring to get dark so I dispense with my lecture on how such severe inbreeding would cause grossly deformed and defective fruits.........(think Royal Family)...........and I give him a plant......and then I force him offa my property (propitty) at 2x4 point.

Well to make a long story short .........(as if) (sigh)

About three months later, I'm in my bountiful masterpiece of a garden, admiring the beauty of all things living, plucking weeds, squishing bugs and fine tuning the 440 volt "Squirrel Final Solution" zapper system that I had installed (my own design btw)( patent pending)

.......heeerrres Johnny !(surprised?).....and this time he's carrying a dirt filled coffee can containing this tomato plant straight out of the movie "Waterworld".

The scrawny thing had the main vine (stalk) and only TWO branches!

"Wow! Johnny you got you a 3-D family tree! " I said.....I don't think he got my joke as he just stood there scratching his head with his third thumb...

"Look Bof ! TOMATOES ! Told ya!"

By golly the damn thing DID have 4 strange looking tomatoes on it 2 per branch.

"Yup, I even named 'em, Jimmy, Billy, William Jefferson and Roger" he said with an ear to ear toothless grin.

"Look Bof, I know I owe you".... ( I'm thinkin' yeh 3 bucks....)

"So I want YOU to have one of these beauties! Pick one !"

in light of my already bountiful crop I respectfully decline..

Besides how do you pick a tomato when it's sitting there, minding it's own business, strumming on a little tiny banjo ?

" I gotta answer the phone, Johnny, if you have to relieve yourself on the way out, just go over there …..by them wires"

Squirrels Beware of Pierre !

2007-03-23T22:47:00.000-05:00

I'm a home gardener and I love it. I always do a variety, quite a range of "crops", but tomatoes are my personal favorite. There is absolutely NOTHING that can compare to the taste of a home grown vine ripened tomato, especially the first bite, the first one to ripen.
For the last couple of years I've had a huge problem with squirrels aka/ fuzzytailed flea-infested garden-terrorist rats.....they would eat the seedlings and spit them out just out of spite, dig holes all over the place and then just sit there and taunt me until I got within brick throwing range. Then they scurry up a tree undoubtably hoping I would walk under their branch so they could poop on me. (trick me once, shame on you trick me twice shame on me)

Finally after many replants, much patience and luck, nursing the plants that did make it to fruition the little bastards would come around and take one bite out of a few tomatoes just to get their stinking, slimy little germs on it so I'd have to throw them away. Very wasteful.
I remember telling my pal Johnny about this wasteful problem one night after bailing him out on his 17th D.U.I., he mumbled "hell, just mash 'em up and throw in yer chile (hic) nobody will ever know" , then he puked all over my dashboard, so I kicked him out of the car. (I hope the walk sobered him up).
No way I'm doing that, we could be talkin' rabies or something bubonic here, no way. I decided then and there to just plant extra plants to allow for the waste.
They hate tomatoes these vile rodents and just do this because they are evil.

I was telling my neighbor, Pierre, a liberal, about this problem and asked him if they sold squirrel poison at Home Depot.
He insulted me (I think) in French and told me that that was illegal, so..... I politely asked him if they sold leg or spring traps there or if those big giant mouse traps (rat traps) would have enough force to snap the neck of one of the annoying little monsters.
I asked him in a very polite deadpan manner and assume that he thought I was quite serious. (wellll, I was)

He said, "luke Buster (not my name btw) ze ONLY humane vay to control thees squirrel situatiownn, efe you muust eze veeth life traps, zey are like cages vith doors that spring shut vithout cruching the animals leg or neck or anysing eltze.
"Ze lufly animals are captured veeth no harm ton vatoseffer... merci"
"I sink dey zell zem at your, how you zay, Varm & Vleet."
(pardon my French, I didn't tape it)

I then asked him if he had any squirrel recipes (hey, he's French, doh) and he walked away saying he had to answer his "tay lay fone"......I didn't hear a phone though.

To make a long story short, I did buy a live trap and it worked like a dream.

I baited it with Peter Pan peanut butter, a jar that I got on a huge sale because of the salmonella recall (and the flea market peddler had scratched off the lot numbers) ,.....and waited. Well within a half hour I heard this loud screeching coming from the back yard and lo and behold, I had humanely captured my first squirrel!
These critters obviously hate being confined, he was screeching and clawing and jumping all over the cage trap, what a sight.

I think my neighbor, Pierre is a liar and a sadist because when I dumped the squealing little satan-beast into the bucket of water and held him under with a 2x4 he screamed and writhed even worse! The fight was on, claws flailing, teeth gnashing and the godawful screams......from both of us.
I prevailed in the end, but have learned to respect these little 5 pound bundles of muscle, teeth and claws, at least enough to use a LONG 2x4.
Squirrels can scream under water, seriously, try it.

Humane ? No way, my neighbor lied.

I've decided to forgive Pierre (de Sade) for this sadistic prank.
As a matter of fact I'm making him an afternoon snack, (a peanut butter sandwich and a bowl of chile)

bon appetit french fry

Ok "Milque" won't be back,

2007-03-20T17:32:00.000-05:00

I won this joint from him on a Superbowl bet, besides he's too busy washing my car everyday until the next Bears win with his "Rex" jersey. Wait till next year.

Unlike "Milque", I hate "middle of the road", I drive on the right.
My friend "Johnny" is a left winger but always drives in the middle when he's high on rotgut which is nearly always. I hope he gets busted for the safety of all.

I plan to change the name of this place to
I DEMAND THAT YOU LIKE ME,
or
LIKE ME OR I'LL BEAT YOU WITH A BAT

or some other moderate, mellow thing in the touchy-feely vein ( I'm keeping "LIKE", doh)

I'll make the change if and when I feel like it.... I OWN this place.

I love and respect the concept of OWNERSHIP, It is the American Dream even at the free blog level.

I may close the comments feature because I don't have time to deal with jealous shitbrains, but for now, I will leave it open only to registered members.
If you can't figure out how to register, you are probably just a jealous shitbrain ,a Phd poser, a left-wing moonbat or all of the above and too stupid to comment anyway.

some "salutes" (in no particular order)

My (real) friend Biloxi owns an excellent weblog wherin he artistically reports and comments on key issues facing Americans today in a most serious manner. He occasionally has to endure harassment from jealous shitbrains but always manages to handle things in a cool courteous manner.
I urge you to visit "the Repulic" (link on right) regularly for good common sense information and opinion and then stop by here and let me insult your intelligence, or hopefully make you laugh.....or cry.......or hurl whatever.
Crawdaddy, I salute you!

As you may know, my (real) friend Matilda has closed the Headbutters forum for personal reasons (I suspect childish and vulgar harassment by jealous shitheads) and at her own personal expense has allowed members to access the massive archives for an indefinite period of time. Talk about great OWNERS, giving back to the community that she built from scratch, 4 years, gazillions of posts and all on HER dime THANK YOU MATILDA, I salute you!

The closing of Headbutters has produced one silver lining, my (real) friend Malone stepped up while the rest of us twiddled and fretted the announced closing and opened a replacement site Headbutters Continued,(link on right) and in less than a week has the place rocking. It's still in the tweaking & rapid growth stage but all indications are that it will be a mainstay "like a rock" for the community and even a haven for jealous shitheads that use it as a toilet. Malone as a compassionate conservative feels that giving these downtrodden losers an "entitlement" a "charitable handout" is the adult and proper thing to do as the responsible OWNER of the forum. I agree.
For humor, Malone has installed a comics section, yep he has this clown posing as a Phd but writing like an illiterate crackhead replete with contradictions, blatant transparent lies and incoherent babble. Seriously the character has the egghead fop talk down to a Tee and then his punchline for contrast is always some childish jibberish, funnier than anything ever done on SNL or Seinfeld, that's for sure. I won't mention the clown's name just go there wander around a bit, you'll figger it out in no time. I wish Malone would just leave the humor to ME, but this gem of a cartoon character puts my wittiest moments to shame.
Malone, you stood up like a man, took charge and kept the community alive, for that I salute you!
FOUR MORE YEARS! and then some :)

alrighty then, my arm is tired from all the saluting and dinners on the table
I'll be bock

Oh my God!

2007-03-20T17:29:00.000-05:00

It's still here!

and I damn well better think up some good excuses for ignoring this "Masterpiece of Internet Perfection" for a year.

Pick one:

a) the dog ate my password

b) I was shacked up with Cindy Sheehan.

c) President Bush sent me on a top secret recon mission to Bejjiiiing to set up the invasion of China (they have WMD)

d) I was donating my liver to Ted Kennedy or my pal "Johnny" whoever needs it first.
I doubt that either will ever actually NEED it though as both have been operating without a brain for years, what good is a liver without a brain.

a hearty THANK YOU to all

2006-02-24T15:12:00.000-06:00

Left-wingers, right-wingers and middle roaders alike for joining me in the belief that "ethic profiling" of muslims is a GOOD THING when it comes protecting Americans from the insane bloodlust of a minority of allah followers. THANK YOU!

As the UAE port story unfolds it becomes apparent that some of the fear and negativity is knee-jerk, nevertheless, I'm agin it (the deal) for the following reasons:

1. I DO NOT WANT a company operated by islamics to be in such a sensitive, potentially dangerous position by having such massive control over any of our ports.
All or most of their company mangement types and many or most of their employess are advocates of the koran...quran...nuff said.

2. I don't TRUST our overseers in any branch of "security" to protect us from a dedicated jihadist with a nuke or a chem/bio-weapon NOW, why would I trust them when there is the chance that they might have an insider jihadist aiding the bad guys. Our borders and ports already have more holes than Ted Kennedy's liver and we just can't allow even one koran thumper to get close enough to make a difference. The 19 animals that pulled off 9.11 presented themselves as pilots, clean cut students and legit business people, what's to stop a demon from getting to the vitals when the company is owned and operated by 5 time a day knee droppers?

3. I don't give a rats-ass if the world of islam thinks that WE are prejudiced, we are, tough shit.
If they want to change that perhaps a large number of their leaders should stand up ,LOUDLY denounce terrorism and start handing over the radicals that they are protecting on an ongoing neverending basis.

4. I don't care a bit if a British owned company loses their deal, their sale. Find another buyer or keep doing it yourself!

Hey, it's MY knee and I'll jerk it all I want!

Ahhh the ever shifting sands of the "left".

Somewhere a left wing loon screeches "BUSH BETRAYED AMERICA!"...but of course said loon crawls back under his rock when pressed for proof.

Many/all on the left who just weeks ago were weeping about Bush's plan to eavesdrop on suspected terrorists to protect us all, now accuse him of endangering us all over this deal BECAUSE it's a muslim owned company....get the point?

As they loudly decry "ethnic profiling", while they are demanding that Bush not allow this company in because they are muslims..... get the point?

Whether this deal happens or not, we've all learned a lot about the "left", deep down inside they believe in ethnic profiling when it suits them, but are all against it when it doesn't, call it the "Bush Factor"

and now, a word from our sponsor..

2006-02-21T08:40:00.000-06:00

Hooters in Mecca!

The investment opportunity of a lifetime!

Imagine trekking across thousands of miles of barren desert on a stinky camel for your MANDATORY pilgrimage only to find nothing but fig vendors and fly covered shish-ke-bob stands for nourishment.

Man... what you would give for some hot chicken wings and a cold beer served up by a babe in a fish-net mini burqa.

Stoning Satan and kneeling down to pray five times a day in the burning sun takes a lot out of a guy, and frankly cuscus soup just don't cut it.
Our research has shown that the best fine dining that you can hope for in the "holiest of all cities" is a Big Mac "halal style" (don't ask).

Please Like Me Enterprises International (PPLMEI) has obtained the Hooters franchise rites for Mecca and all of Saudi Arabia and has plans to swing into action as soon as we can acquire the proper zoning.
To aid us in this itsy bitsy legal hurdle, we have engaged the services of Sheik Muhamet Bin Hooten a prominent lawyer, webmaster and retired Nigerian Oil minister.
Mr. Bin Hooten assures us that if we heavily grease the right camel dung encrusted palms the proper permits will get done faster than a suicide bomber with his 17 virgins.

We "may" have to make some minor changes in the way of a combo structure of the franchise. Example: mosque/pub...mosque/pub/laundromat....ect. ,none of which should hurt the bottom line.

Because of the large cash outlay required for this type of venture PLMEI is offering an ISO -limited partnership offering to our readers. For a mere $100 you can become a 1/1,000,000 partner in HOOTERS OF MECCA!

You may have missed out on the early days of Microsoft and the dotcom (dotgoner) boom of the 90's, so ACT FAST this is a limited time offer!

If you have and doubts about the acceptance of this "western cultural phenomena" by islamic cultists...........

Mohammed XXVII on vacation.....

Crown Prince Faud of Saud on his annual pilgrimage to Crawford Texas

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"Cleopatra's Secret in the Mecca Mall"
"Jihad Jezebel's Baudy House"
"Koran Kalib's Adult Book Store"
"Fatima's Magic Fingers Massage Parlor"

Slick Willie makes the cut!

2006-02-19T09:54:00.000-06:00

but just barely

"Scholars" , not bloggers, actors, talking heads, or blubbering message board trolls have determined the Top Ten Presidential Blunders in history!

"IndyStar.com Local News Nation/World
February 19, 2006

Historians select top 10 presidential blunders

By Elizabeth Dunbar
Associated Press
LOUISVILLE, Ky. -- From engaging in sexual relations with an intern to letting the Vietnam War escalate, U.S. presidents have been blamed for some egregious errors.

So who had the worst blunder? President James Buchanan, for failing to avert the Civil War, according to a survey of presidential historians organized by the University of Louisville's McConnell Center.
The survey's top 10 presidential blunders were announced Saturday during a Presidents Day weekend conference called "Presidential Moments."
Scholars who participated said Buchanan didn't do enough to oppose efforts by Southern states to secede from the Union before the Civil War.
The second-worst mistake, the survey found, was Andrew Johnson's decision just after the Civil War to side with Southern whites and oppose improvements in justice for Southern blacks beyond abolishing slavery.
Lyndon Johnson earned the No. 3 spot by allowing the Vietnam War to intensify, Gregg said.
Where does Bill Clinton's Monica Lewinsky scandal rank? Many scholars said it belonged at No. 10, saying it probably affected Clinton's presidency more than it did American history and the public.
The rest of the top 10 blunders:
4: Woodrow Wilson's refusal to compromise on the Treaty of Versailles after World War I.
5: Richard Nixon's involvement in the Watergate cover-up.
6: James Madison's failure to keep the United States out of the War of 1812 with Britain.
7: Thomas Jefferson's Embargo Act of 1807, a self-imposed prohibition on trade with Europe during the Napoleonic Wars.
8: John F. Kennedy allowing the Bay of Pigs invasion, which led to the Cuban missile crisis.
9: Ronald Reagan and the Iran-Contra affair, the effort to sell arms to Iran and use the money to finance an armed anti-communist group in Nicaragua."

Way to go Willie!

Hmmm, no "Bush" names listed....

Mad Dog Muslim "cleric" with a Million

2006-02-17T17:08:00.000-06:00

"A Pakistani cleric announced a $1 million bounty for killing a cartoonist who drew the Prophet Muhammad as thousands joined street protests after Friday prayers."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060217/
ap_on_re_mi_ea/prophet_drawings

Whodathunk that a few cartoons could be so much fun!

I'm thinking that if some of these idiots would spend their millions on FrontLine Flea and Tick drops their outlook would be much better.

Salman Rushdie should write a book......

DICK CHENEY FOR PRESIDENT

2006-02-13T09:22:00.000-06:00

Monkey business, let's set the record straight

2006-02-09T16:25:00.000-06:00

There's been a rash of monkey-politician photo comparisons floating around lately....George Bush the chimp,

Ronald Reagan with a chimp,

Even the new James Bond, Michael "GoldSinger" Jackson is getting in on the act,

The Please Like Me research team has spent countless hours investigating this phenomena and determined that deep seated beliefs in evolution, are the root cause,

Don't look at me, I just report the stuff :)

Dan Rather must be LEAPING for joy....

2006-02-07T16:39:00.000-06:00

at losing the "honor" of being the most brain dead news "Anchor" in TV history.

Ok, I'm not sure that he actually LOST the title, but Brian Williams took some of the luster off of the honor during President Bush's State of the Union address.

"NBC Nightly News anchor Brian Williams told The Hill that he wrote Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) and Rep. Harold Ford Jr. (D-Tenn.) letters of apology last week after he confused the two men at the State of the Union address."

I didn't watch the NBC feed, I switched between FOX and CNN.

CONFUSED??

Obama

Ford

At least Brian had the decency to apologize.
I wonder if Dan Rather has ever apologized to President Bush.

Tom Daschle.....the Golden Years

2006-02-06T10:21:00.000-06:00

Since his (less than voluntary) retirement from the U.S. Senate a little over a year ago, ....

....Tom has discovered that the little things in life are the only things that really matter.
"Stop and smell the roses" has replaced "Impeach Bush the Impaler" as his inspirational guidance.

Free from the stress of public life, Tom has bravely defeated anorexia, bulemia, and premature graying.

"Fit as a fiddle" Tom fills his days with sporting activities,....

....needlepoint, spelunking abandoned South Dakota gold mines with his Acme 3000 metal detector and contributing thoughtful,radical left wing fair and balanced opinions to the Democratic Underground website.

When asked if he had any future political aspirations, Tom replied
"there is an office here locally that I'm pretty sure I could win, but frankly I'm scared to death of dogs"

gone but not forgotten.....

please like Tom

About M.N.F.

2006-02-03T10:31:00.000-06:00

Many (droves) of you have written and asked me if my initials, M.N.F. are some kind of subliminal plug for Monday Night Football and just how much the league is paying me. The answer is an emphatic NO ....and 42 cents per page hit. (heh heh)

I am a huge football fan though at any level, especially the pinnacle of the sport, the NFL. a majestic game of strategy, skill, athleticism and sheer strength....

a brutal, senseless sport that should be banned so it's fans could go bowling more often...

an exciting thrill-a-minute adventure that draws millions of fans......

soccer is by far more exciting and draws many more fans worldwide....true futbol...

finely trained atheletes bodies and minds tuned to the max going helmet to helmet....

a bunch of fat sweaty idiots trying to hurt each other....

highly motivated professionals putting their heart, soul and body on the line on every single play....

illiterate hog boys being paid obscene salaries, enjoying the Bush tax giveaway to the rich while homeless people eat dog food two miles away....

brilliant leaders strategizing every call, every play every player substitution....

Dick Jauron. Dave Wannstedt.

numerous scoring methods add to the thrill, strategy and suspense of the game....

they should have no scoring at all to prevent feelings of inferiority to the quasi educated, steroid gobbling dolts that lose...

even more brilliant yet is the upper management, making good trades and acquisitions, juggling draft choices all the while working within a salary cap.....

Michael McCaskey and other billionaire ownners schmoozing a tax payer funded cash pit stadium while probably paying ZERO taxes because of the Bush tax giveaway to the rich.....

SUPERBOWL XL- SUNDAY-DON'T MISS IT! WOOF!... WOOF WOOF WOOF!

sorry, i'll be too busy reading poetry to watch...purrr

GO SEAHAWKS!

couldn't care less who wins, both teams are from Blue states, playing in a Blue state...let's just hope that some of the revenue goes for the common good, a performing arts centre perhaps....

Please like me in spite of my "little blue friend".

Do you really care?

2006-02-02T15:00:00.000-06:00

Do you care if an author promoted by Oprah lied?
Did you buy the book?
Will you now?
Would you have bought his book if it was certified 100% true and accurate by whoever it is that does this kind of certification?

I'm not an Oprah fan, but respect her a ton for being one sharp cookie in a business full of sharks and to make her way to the very top of the food chain.
I REALLY respect her for her $100,000 reward and publicity plan for removing child molesters from society. Are you paying attention, John Walsh? (Americas Most Wanted)

but....Oprah's shock and dismay at the guy's dishonesty
seems a little overblown to me. When she "gave away" 200(?) Pontiacs a while back with her jumping up and down celebrating the joy of "giving" the fact that the cars were paid for by Pontiac, not her, was tucked away like the small print provided by a Philadelphia lawyer.
I imagine that some people to this day think that SHE paid for them. Generous like a fox.

Why has this story comsumed so much print/air/bandwidth in the last week? I can see, Drudge, ET and others venues with a large celebrity based venue, but front page on CNN, Google News, network news, all the papers FOX!...... HERE! :) C'mon put it where it belongs, in the entertainment section.

Maybe it's just me, heck I don't even KNOW who Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise are married to shacking up with or who's impregnated by whom. I guess I should do more serious reading in the grocery store check out aisle.:)

and NO, I'm not Andy Rooney, but thanks in advance for asking.

All in all the State of the Union Address...

2006-02-01T13:57:00.000-06:00

....was the best in the history of S.O.U.A.'s It darn near bought a tear of pride and joy my eye, knowing that we as Americans are so incredibly blessed to have such a wonderful and courageous leader in these troubled times

HAH! a war criminal selling snake oil, is more like it. HE LIED, thousands died!

The speech was MAGNIFICO! Positive, forceful and inspirational!

Bull! Who wrote it for him? It sounded like a clip and paste of last years with the broken promises and failed schemes deleted. BAH!

One of my favorite quotes:
"There is no peace in retreat. And there is no honor in retreat."- President George W. Bush

Typical, a cheap shot at John Murtha, a war hero who was bleeding in a rice paddy while Dubya was playing weekend warrior.

Another courageous non-appeasing quote:
"The Iranian government is defying the world with its nuclear ambitions -- and the nations of the world must not permit the Iranian regime to gain nuclear weapons. America will continue to rally the world to confront these threats."
So..WHERE'S THE WMD? this drunken cowboys gonna get us all killed!

This quote was really funny, what a sense of humor our President has:
"This year, the first of about 78 million baby boomers turn 60, including two of my dad's favorite people -- me and President Bill Clinton."

Yeah sure, when your approval ratings are in the tank, mooch off of the success of the most popular President in history, William Jefferson Clinton.

The Rebuttal-

I can't for the life of me figure out why none of the leading House or Senates Dems didn't have the stones to do the rebuttal, afterall attacking the President is an obsession with many (most)of them.
Was Governor Kaine tuning up his act for a comedy club gig or is he just test ballooning material for a spoof blog? My God, that was sad. "There IS a better way" too funny.

HEY, Listen up you self centered NEO-CON Tim Kaine was a MISSIONARY! Is NOTHING sacred to you people!

1st Annual State of the Blog Address.

2006-01-31T09:51:00.000-06:00

I humbly offer this report in the hopes that some major politician will follow my lead and address his supporters and detractors alike in a similar fashion.... soon. :)

Seven days ago I blindly dove headfirst into the wacky world of blogging as an experiment, a ten day "test drive". I've decided to "buy the beater", muddle on so to speak, at least until the tank runs dry or until the "as is and shown" warranty expires.

On day 4, my wide open door policy attracted a few flies intent only on spewing mindless obscenties at some of my friends, (good folks who have swatted them into "fly paste" in the past) prompting me to toggle into moderated mode and get out the Pooper Scooper.
I've decided that for the time being to toggle back to the Unmoderated Wild West mode, after all,I can delete much faster than stupid people can comment. We'll see how that goes.

On day 5, I installed a hit counter to monitor the traffic, (no gridlock yet) this morning it was at 39.

THIRTY NINE! I know that doesn't sound like much (especially when you consider that most of them were me ;) )....

BUT....considering as there a 83.7 trillion web surfers out there (I counted) let's extrapolate those numbers, shall we.

If Zogby poll crunched those numbers, it would show that most Americans would favor the immediate impeachment, castration and lifetime incarceration of President Bush.

and...

If Newsmax crunched them it would show that he should be annointed "President for Life"!

go figure.
----------------

All in all, it's going well, our fan base includes numerous internationally famous radio talk show hosts and even a major political figure (think "heartbeat away") (wink wink)

I spent 21 minutes on this project from "decision to blog" to seeing it on the monitor.
Since then, I've spent countless hours figuring out the basic navigation, the simple tasks of adding links, e-mails, pictures and the like. Html hates me and it shows, but I'm working on it.
If you're expecting any major "gussy -ups, don't hold your breath, I'm in no hurry.

If anyone would care to put a link here to their site or blog, just let me know in comments or e-mail. If anyone is crazy enough to put a link to this work in progress on their community, consider this your permission and thank you.

In the weeks ahead, I plan to offer weekly-ish "Fencestraddles" of serious issues that affect us all and some of the web wierdness that I stumble across.

Please like me. and if you don't, it's ok, I do (obviously, I'm bloggin)

2006-01-30T18:46:00.000-06:00

Please Like Me

David....GET YOUR SLINGSHOT!

2006-01-27T17:57:00.000-06:00

Proof positive that they WERE making steroids at Chernobyl.

I wonder if we could persuade this ape to beat the crap out of Mike Tyson.
I'd pay for that pay-per-view.

2006-01-26T13:48:00.000-06:00

President George W. Bush- You should love him

but if you hate him, I must agree with you.
Please like me.

I think that President Bush, as the Commander in Chief of our armed forces should be awarded the Congressional Medal of Honor for his political courage and personal heroism, "Above and Beyond the call of duty" in his war on terror, no matter where it's taken us to date or where it takes us in the future.

But.....
I think that the medal should be awarded to Dubya posthumously, after we shackle him in chains, throw a hood over his head and ship him off to Nuremberg to be hung for his war crimes and crimes against humanity.-

I think that President Bush should be awarded honorary Phd's from every University in the land with an economics venue for his insightful tax cuts and their boosting effect to our national economy.

However.......
I feel that every history book written from this day forward should have his name double asterisked (**) with an explanation to our grandchildren and their grandchildren as to why and how THEY got saddled with this gazillion dollar deficit in the national debt.-

I think that President Bush should win an Oscar for his award winning performances when shaking hands and smiling at Jacques Chirac, when hugging Vladimir Putin and when referring to Ted Kennedy as "my friend".

But......
Ain't no but's about it THAT one he deserves, even a needy pandering Neo-Moderate has to draw the line somewhere. Please like me anyway.

Comment away, the bar is officially open.

DON'T START!! ok, go ahead, if you want....

2006-01-25T17:48:00.001-06:00

Welcome to the Wishy-Washy Political discussion blog.

I am your host, my name is :
Milquetoast N. Fencestraddler….. (the name is Swiss and the N stands for Neutral)
Please like me.

I have no opinions on any political issues at all.
I am here with the sole purpose of agreeing with YOUR opinion regardless of your political leaning or degree of radicality.
Please like me.

This blog has a “comments” area where any and all may express their opinions on anything at all, which I will promptly agree with.
Please like me.

If two or more commenters offer differing opinions, I will firmly and decisively agree with both/all.

Nothing will be monitored, filtered or deleted, I am here to convince you to like me, not to piss you off by stifling your right to free speech.

I will allow any vulgar language that you can dream up as long as you promise me that you will send a link to this blog including your “handle” to your kids, all of your co-workers and your mom.

Spam my blog all you want, the 1st Amendment protects your right to free advertising.

Lying, misleading and spinning will be allowed at all times. No documentation, links or verification will ever be asked for by me after all I’m going to agree with you regardless. Should another commenter demand proof of something, I will of course join him/her in their demand for proof..

There will be no need to stick to the subject matter in any give topic area.
For example, if the topic is the war in Iraq and YOU take a hankering to talk about Michael Jackson’s latest chartbuster, bring it on, count me in!

No Rules-No Restrictions
Please like me.

Quickie bio:
Milquetoast N. Fencestraddler

Age: youngish old

Occupation: Unemployed, professional, management, laborer, entrepreneur, retired, student, other

Favorite Food: Tofu, the absence of taste allows it to absorb the flavor of nearby foods, the lack of texture make it easy to eat, even without teeth. If YOU hate tofu though, I do too.

Favorite Beverage: liquid based.

Favorite Movie: The Sound Of Music. But if you prefer Terminator, I must admit that Arnie would kick Julies butt.

MISSION STATEMENT

It is my goal to provide this service as an “oasis of enablement”, a “port in a storm” for any and all who need the ego boost of a yes man to agree with any of their opinions regardless of loonyness any time night or day. If you think that this is a stupid idea, let me know and I will change the format to anything that you like.

I vow to provide this free service till the day I die, at which time I will “will” it to my heir sons, Benign, Inert and Mootpoint, to carry on the family tradition in perpetuity……unless the hit count is dismal after the first 10 days, then I will shut it down, fold the tent and spend the rest of my free time playing Doom III. -

Okie dokie
Tomorrow (unless you would like me to start today) (or the day after….) we’ll get the ball rolling.
This guy seems to be getting a lot of attention: George W. Bush- President of the United States of America
Love him?
Hate him?
Admire him?
He makes you itch?

I’ll present a concise, windsocking , neutral opinion derived from material that I’ve researched from both sides and then the rest is up to you. (with me agreeing in a most pathetic manner, of course)

Please Like Me.